I believe it isn't important how you look but how you act. Some people need the front, they need the show. They put more value in appearances than in kindness or doing good. They spend more time looking good than feeling good. Surely maintaining a charade is harder work than working hard to be the best version of you. Persona Non Grata
Tap into it. What is it? Tell me.
Extremely comfortable boots all scuffed and worn.
Oh you shimmering, shining, treacherous high heels.
Away you go. Out of my sight. For good. -Anon
Thomas Edison is credited with saying that 'genius is 1 percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration'. George-Louis Le Clerc said that 'genius was only a greater aptitude for patience'. Thomas Carlyle thought of genius in terms of 'an infinite capacity for taking pains'. John Ruskin reported 'I know of no genius but the genius of hard work'. In recent times I have heard singer Ben Haggerty agreeing with these sentiments by asserting that 'the greats weren't great because at birth they could paint, the greats were great because they paint a lot'. It is too easy to say 'I could never do that', to feel sorry for yourself because you are not 'gifted'. I believe if you want something enough and are willing to graft, to put in the work and have a steely determination and self-belief you can achieve more than you ever imagined. It is too easy to be lazy, to play the victim. You are the creator of your own destiny, you and you alone. Do not allow others or circumstance to dictate to you, to determine your destination. Put in the work, feel the pain, suffer the setbacks, reap the rewards and feel the elation..
"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; That is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them."
-Henry David Thoreau
Many a true word is often spoken in jest so the old expression tells us. You can be serious about finding real meaning in your life; plucking the apples of wisdom from a orchard full of knowledge but remember that dourness can be an obstacle to finding what you seek. Dourness can shut the mind's door and lock it. Humour is the key, humour is the battering ram, humour takes down fortresses. With this in mind I can recall the story of the baby polar bear for you, if you haven't already heard it, if you have perhaps you will find something more in the punchline. A meaning, a simple rule to apply to our lives.
A baby polar bear strolls up to his father one day and asks him "dad am I really a polar bear?" "Of course you are", his father replies. "You have white fur, you eat fish, you swim in the ocean. You're a polar bear"."Ok" replies the baby polar bear and he trudges away. The following day the baby bear strolls up to his mother and asks the same question to her; "mum am I really a polar bear?" His mum gives him the same answer as his father has. "You have white fur, you eat fish, you swim in the ocean. You're a polar bear." "Ok" says the baby polar bear and starts to trudge away. His mum calls after him " Why do ask this question anyway?" " Because", says the baby polar bear, "because, I'm freezing."
Are you also freezing? Are you freezing in a place where you're suppose to bask?
We choose. We choose to remain in contact with family, make and maintain friendships and romances, careers, the car we drive, clothes we wear, food we eat, what we do in our free time, etc, etc, etc.
We might not have chose where we began but can choose where we will go. If the place you're in now doesn't fit, if where you began is not where you want to end up, then leave. There is a world of choice out there. Better to be a content blow in than a disgruntled native. When a relationship suffers a slow, painful death there is bitterness and hurt for all involved. If where you're at right now, be it location, job, relationship or any choice in your life that brings out the worst in you then remember a stitch in time saves nine. Don't prolong unhappiness, allow despair to prevail or bitterness to proliferate.
"Poor men wanna be rich, rich men wanna be kings and a king ain't satisfied till he rules everything"
-Bruce Springsteen (Badlands)
Do you ever feel like your the pinball? Bouncing around in whatever direction life wants you to go. Wouldn't it be nicer to be the captain of your own ship, the creator of your own destiny? You don't have to be the pinball anymore, choose to be the wizard instead. You have more options available to you than you realize; but firstly you have to take off the blinders. The blinders that you mightn't even think are there, but they are. When they are gone, you will hardly recognize the world you see around you. You will scarcely believe the array of choices that lie before you.
This being human is a guesthouse.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows
who violently sweep your house
empty of it's furniture,
still, treat each guest honourably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
Which days do you long for? Is it the weekend? When you graduate? Summer holidays? Any day as long as it is after 5pm ? Maybe it's time to stop living for the 'extraordinary' time. Maybe so called 'ordinary' time can be the new extraordinary and simple pleasures the new indulgences. Stop craving what you think or have been made feel you need for happiness. You already have it all. You are already perfect.
"As long as you're breathing there is more right with you than wrong"
-Jon Kabat Zinn